Don't Take Anything Personally!

A MUST read when starting on the spiritual journey!

I purchased this book in 2012. Oprah had just left her daily show after 25 years on the air and had started her OWN network. When she had her daily show on CBS she had started a book club where she recommended books that she thought would be life changing for the person reading them as they had been for her. When she started her network she continued with this practice and also incorporated interviews with the authors on the teachings of their books. This was the first one (of MANY) that I purchased. They had it at my local Target and I thought "Why not?" The author seemed genuine and kind and what he was saying spoke to something deep in my spirit so I decided to give it a try, what could it hurt? I then spent the next 12 years of life trying to read the small book. Only 138 pages, but I struggled to get into it from the beginning. And then the great Spiritual Awakening of 2024 started and it was suddenly extremely easy to read all of the books I had purchased over the years after watching interviews with the authors. What took me over a decade to get through one chapter only took 2 hours to read from cover to cover. I moved on to the next book and always kept the teachings of this book in the back of my mind until the last few weeks when I was called to go back and read it again. Unsure why, the reason was made clear as I started on the second agreement yesterday morning, the agreement is "Don't take anything personally." Here's what has been happening and why these words have been so profound and healing after the last 3 weeks.

My mother (who from here in out will be referred to as Janice) called me one Tuesday morning 3 weeks ago. The time was 11:11 am and I had just finished getting ready for the day and was headed downstairs to start my morning spiritual practices and prayer when I saw her calling. I knew, I KNEW, better than to answer the phone but for some reason I did. The next 5 hours (over phone and text) was a barrage of her abusive and manipulative accusations and attacks that ended around 4 pm. When she told me I was "a disappointment of a daughter". Funny enough she was crafting a letter to leave when she died to tell me this. And I just have to say if I had ever had any doubts about whether she is an abusive narcissist these thoughts were confirmed in the moment that she told me this. She wanted her final words to me (which they may very well be) to be that I was a disappointment to her. I hung up the phone and have been and will continue to be no contact with her. I forgive her but I just cannot have that toxic energy in my space ever again. Fast forward to 2 weeks later when she reached out on a group text to let all her children know that she will no longer stand for the abuse that we continually give her. I was already "no contact" and found this out through my sister because I could not read the text message she had sent in a group chat. When I read this chapter again I knew why I was being shown this book.

I no longer take personally the hurtful and harmful accusations she continuously throws my way. These are the thoughts that she thinks about herself and her life. She feels the need to tell me what a disappointment I am because she feels that she is a disappointment. I am a horrible mother that doesn't support her children's dream. Actually that is how the last 48 years of her life have gone. I'm miserable (again her words), in fact, she doesn't think I've ever been more miserable in my life. This is how she feels about herself. I can go one step further and provide anyone who questions if I am "miserable" a reel of pictures of the last year of my life and you can judge for yourself. I look and feel better than I have in 40 years so I would have to say this is categorically untrue. On page 56 Don Miguel Ruiz states " Don't take anything personally, by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. Humans are addicted to suffering at different levels and to different degrees, and we support each other in maintaining these addictions. If you have the need to be abused, you will find it easy to be abused by others. I no longer feel the need to suffer or be abused by her so I don't take these accusations personally, but I do have great empathy for her suffering and forgive her. I wish her nothing but health and happiness. It's what we all deserve in life and is there for us abundantly if we choose to receive it!

Girls Trip to Ireland. One of the many travels this year that healed my spirit and strengthened my relationship with my daughter. I am so grateful for this time and feel so blessed to have her as part of my journey!