Boundaries

I've been wanting to write this post for a few months now but have found it hard to find the words. I think by now it is pretty clear from my previous blog posts that my relationship with my mother over the past 12 months has been very strained and recently nonexistent. In fact the last time I remember her and I spending time together was Mother's Day last year. It did NOT go well and was most definitely the start of my distancing myself from her and her unhealthy communication practices. Over the last year and especially in the past 2 months she has set out on an attack on myself, and my relationships with my children and other family members in order to gain control of what I am not exactly sure. Sometimes it feels like she wants to control the way I think and act and other times it becomes glaringly obvious that she has a jealousy of me that is proving extremely hard for her to overcome.

After I put up clear boundaries with family on November 10, 2024 it has been met with anger, denial , a psychic attack on myself that I can feel every day. This is why energy work has to be a daily practice for me. Growing up boundaries were always pretty lacking in the environment in which I was raised. There is a genetic history of alcoholism, depression, and numerous mental health disorders that run on both sides of my family. Manipulation and triangulation are the preferred methods of behavior in close relationships within my extended family. These still exist to this day. For example, a child that goes to a parent trying to talk about past trauma that they are trying to overcome and having response sent via text message letting the recipient know that they'll be removing you as Executor of their estate. Wait, WHAT?! When people can no longer manipulate you into acting and thinking the way they do about past events, people, or really anything in life then they will use every avenue to scare you back into "towing the line". A healed person(or one on their journey to being healed) who is strong in their boundary setting and keeping isn't easily swayed. Taking away love, money, attention, does not really affect the boundary setter outwardly. It is actually confirmation that they are doing what they should have for a very long time. The person suffering is the boundary crosser who is trying to hold onto the former control they had over the other person.

Boundaries are set intuitively by our soul. Over time we are conditioned and programmed by the people and the environment around us to loosen or at times even do away with them altogether by people who would like to control or manipulate us. Maya Angelous used to say "You must have a place inside yourself that you must keep inviolate, you must keep it pristine. So that nobody has the right to curse you or treat you badly. Nobody, no mother, father, wife, husband, friend. Because that may be the place you go to when you meet God. You have to have a place that you say stop it, back up, NO! That place has to remain clean and clear and must be a place within yourself. Nothing tops the place of having a space inside yourself that no one has the right to invade. And when a person comes with rude language to you or invasive language to you then you have to be able to say, BACK UP, not me you don't! Don't you know I'm a child of God?" She also says "When people show you who they are believe them!" but that is a subject for another post. If something feels, rude or invasive, or even if it just feels icky. Say so and ask that the behavior not be repeated again. People that truly love you and respect you won't keep overstepping the mark. When people turn your boundaries back around and say "I'm kidding, take a joke!" Know they aren't kidding and that jokes are funny and funny doesn't try to break your spirit. You also don't EVER have to "agree to disagree" when it comes to your boundaries. You set the boundary, and if someone disagrees you do not have to agree with that! There is right and there is wrong and no room for middle ground in protecting your energy.